Dad Put Up A Witty Classified Ad For A Crib

Being a parent is very tough and can be challenging sometimes. You are deprived of your sleep; you are always tired and mess is the new home. A crib is something that can keep a child confined for sometime while the parents rest. This dad used his wittiness and experience in framing a classified ad for selling his kid’s old crib.


The title of the ad posted read: “Open top child cage (crib) and mattress – $93”. James Flawith recently discovered that he needed to upgrade to larger crib for his growing kid and wanted to sell of the old crib. He was sure that “used crib” won’t attract much customers and hence drafted a perfect ad with a perfect title.

James did provide two photos with the classified ad he posted online. The first photo he posted was blurry and blatant. It seemed as if it was posted by mistake but he had an explanation for the blatant image. James wrote: “I apologize for the blurry first photo, one of them got out and bit my leg when I was shooting. It hurt, I screamed, the photo blurred. There was no time to try again.”

The second image is a still and clearly shows the crib. James further explains the role the crib has played in his life since becoming a parent. He shares: “The separation afforded by this unit comes in handy for discipline, the thing you pretend/hope will eventually teach them how to behave. It won’t work, of course, but we all have to pretend… We are selling because our youngest can now escape at will. We investigated closed top cage models but there [were] concerns over the legality of these designs.”

He refers to the crib as a cage and even mentions his kids escaping from the cage. Coming to the mattress provided with the crib he explained: “With the mattress you can feel comfortable knowing when they fall asleep, they should be comfortable enough to stay asleep for at least an hour at a time. That’s the best you can hope for, just get used to it. I recommend training yourself to take microsleeps when you’re on the toilet. It’s the only place you’ll be able to get away.”

He continued,” You’ll probably find yourself in the bathroom with no recollection of how you got there, not even having to actually poo. If this happens, make sure you flush your fake poo and turn the tap on to simulate hand washing. 7 minutes is all you get. Then take a deep breath and head back out.”

The price is uniquely set at $93 and James even has a clever justification for the price. He notes: “The price is firm at $93 as this is the price of the first hour we were quoted by the therapist, to teach us how to deal with our child’s increased – and our decreased – freedom. Let’s be honest, my wife and I won’t make it in to see the therapist. We will probably fall asleep holding hands and crying in the waiting room, with the other survivors, and miss it when our names are called.”

This witty Ad would surely bring a smile on the face of the exhausted parent buying the child cage. For all the tired parents, in words of James: “God help us all.”